The theory of the Green Farost

There is a theory that the Green Farost is one of the early glitches, one that went unnoticed. Which let him sit quietly in Tubbyland and misbehave. Petty vandalism nobody paid attention to, because everybody was busy with Furrinya, and later with Faro-chan.

Then came the Perestroika, and Tubbyland was turned over — him along with it. So they say, at least. And now, with the residents rebuilding Tubbyland from scratch, he has turned up in Torgorod, breaking public order all over again.

By this theory the Green Farost did not disappear and did not die like the other minor glitches. He may simply have gone under a tractor and lain about in a field until Tubbyland began to recover. Which means he has decided to strike again — and this time the target is Puzelsk itself. Why does he want that? Nobody knows exactly.

Leaks of his arsenal made it onto the net, and in some of the photos a Big Pupa Nuclear Bomb (hereafter BPNB) was spotted. The residents who managed to study the leaked photos report that the concentration of pupas in the bomb is so high the blast would reach the village of Sixsevyanka itself, which would certainly bring heavy destruction with it. How the local currency was turned into a nuclear weapon, however, is still unknown.

By some accounts, even the aforementioned Faro-chan will be no match for the Green Farost once he has collected all 7 BPNBs and destroyed the main island of Tubbyland. Faro-chan will simply evaporate along with all matter, since Puzelsk holds the core that keeps Tubbyland in a stable state. The current rebuild means the core has grown more powerful — and a tastier morsel for the Green Farost.

In recent news on the theory, an unusual phrase from FarostG was noticed in the Farost Femboy House (hereafter FFH). Presumably a particle of the Green Farost ended up inside the original body and influenced his personality.

Can particles of the Green Farost affect the behaviour of residents? Very possibly. Some residents are already obsessed with the idea of nuclear bombs and the destruction of Puzelsk, and are even raising idols in the Green Farost’s honour. It is frightening to imagine what will happen at the moment of his coming, given that they publicly crucified Jesus on the cross below Bengereng.

So only one thing can be said: the Green Farost is insane and potentially dangerous to peaceful residents.

According to the independent theory expert Lux, the Green Farost is a glitcheshka with a wicked hangover, who went green and glitchy after gorging himself on glitches. After operation “SNEG”, though, he supposedly returned to his own form — but the colour stayed green. And then he was locked up in a dark space together with False-Farost, where the two of them sit to this day.

When that duo gets out, something very bad will happen. Faro-chan herself does not want to let them out, and that alone says something. Given what Tubbyland looks like now — and especially the suspicious moustache-shaped island of the National Park, and presumably one more island up and to the left of the moustache (this theory was born out of the white patches on the map) — one can conclude that we are in for a certain kind of “oh no”.

The logic is simple: Farost is green. When he comes, everything and everyone is done for. Which is exactly why we are making Tubbyland great again right now — to defend ourselves from that damned Fareshka, who turned green after that very operation “SNEG”. And really: if False-Farost managed to get out, then why could Fareshka not have got out with him? All the more so since False-Farost said on stream himself that he took him by the hand and tried to pull him out. Which means the risk is very real indeed.

A gallery of possible events

News

On 5–6 August 2026 Faro-chan turned up on a teletummy stream in green. There is a suggestion that publishing the theory tipped her off, and that she will now be drawing suspicion away from the Green Farost in order to keep the residents’ interest on herself. An unusually bold move on her part — imitating the subject of the theory takes some skill. Either way, in the second half of the stream the influence of the green skin on the residents’ minds began to show: they started typing “sex” and posting their chests in the FFH. Which means the power of the Green Farost really is real, and dangerous.

The independent theory expert Lux has commented on this too. By his version, Faro-chan, having learned of the Green Farost’s plans, did not sit on her hands and took harsh countermeasures. Out of the very glitches themselves she created a green Faro-chan — specifically to stand against her dark counterpart. Which means these two forces now balance each other like the pans of a scale. And if that reading is right, their mutual struggle will eventually neutralise the threat — and bring the long-awaited calm to Tubbyland.

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The influence of the Green Farost reaches far beyond Teletummy streams and Tubbyland. On the evening of 10 August 2026, on the stream of Paketunya, the presence of the so-called Green Commune was recorded. At first glance Paketunya had nothing to do with it, but it turned out that she is a resident of the Island of Puberty and holds considerable pupa reserves.

As our researchers have established, a special pubertal energy circulates on the Island of Puberty, charging the local pupas and making them pubertoactive. Such pupas begin to glow and feed their owner with energy. The longer a pupa stays on the island, the higher its activity. What is more, a raised concentration of pubertal energy in the blood leads to irreversible changes of skin colour.

The clearest example is Holu Fimozovna — the most ancient inhabitant of the island, which is evidently what made her the queen of the puberty cases. Because of the energy of her pupas she turned into a phimosis. Her words about the island being “hot”, however, raise questions. The volcano located there ought to be throwing ash into the atmosphere and blocking the sunlight — which means there is physically nowhere for the heat to come from. The shpermalava it erupts clearly does not run hot enough to warm a whole island. We await a detailed report on this phenomenon from our expert Lux.

And now a pink clone of the original Paketunya has turned up in Tubbyland. And here is where it gets truly alarming: by all appearances the Green Farost intends to join forces with her, and together they will keep attacking Tubbyland with new, doubled strength. There is a nuance, though — no direct hostility has been observed in Paketunya’s actions. Her goal is not destruction but political victory. A takeover by word rather than by force. And the first step has already been taken: her appearance at the fashion show was the beginning of a gradual but relentless influence on the minds of the residents.

Let us return to the main figures — the Green Farost and Faro-chan. In the course of our analysis we noticed a curious detail: on the colour wheel, pink and purple sit strictly opposite green. Which means that the Green Farost and Faro-chan are complete opposites. But, as everybody knows, opposites attract — so it is safe to assume that something interesting is bound to happen between them. What exactly that “something” will be we can only guess for now, but the ground for the most unexpected scenarios has already been laid by the nature of colour itself.

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Today is 14 August 2026. It looks like we are dealing with yet another manifestation of the Green Farost — this time his influence has reached Kuriyama (known among the residents as Kumi). By unconfirmed reports, under his influence the original, fairly reckless and lively resident gave birth to an aggressive copy of herself — the Red Kuriyama.

Unlike her predecessor, who is known for her love of shperm, for her pet the Giant Zhorik and for her open displays of gayness, the Red version is irritable, aggressive and, most alarmingly, devoid of fear and conscience. She might have been copied straight off a list of “bad deeds”: she begs for pupas, behaves badly, does not wash, collects all sorts of vermin, and even listened in while Farost was watching naked, ripped boys in little towels. And by some rumours, she lost her hole in Silent Hill.

The first appearance of the Red Kuriyama was recorded on the Mud marsh, where she was gathering pupas lost by the locals. By eyewitness accounts she wandered through the quagmires and came out like a ghost, collecting floating pupas. Why pupas appear on the marshes has not been studied yet, but it is already being put to active use. Her tracks have been lost since then, and her current location remains unknown.

It is known that the original Kuriyama is a fish-dog and the witch of the Fiery Shperm, dwelling in a tower south of the mountains, with her faithful pet living in a nearby river. What became of her after the Red copy appeared, however, is a big question. By all appearances this glitch-clone lives its own life and acts on its own, and its motives remain a mystery for now. One can only guess what part she will play in the events to come, and whether she will become a new weapon in the hands of the Green Farost.

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Today, 17 August 2026, our investigative group is ready to declassify that among the new glitch manifestations spotted in Tubbyland, the purple version of Morselina deserves particular attention. By the data we have, she operates in Torgorod, where she runs an illegal trade in anime figurines. But what lies behind her appearance?

The original Morselina is a vampire with lost memories. She does not remember when or under what circumstances she became a vampire: whether she was born one or turned by somebody’s bite. All of her memory was erased after a prolonged sleep that clearly lasted longer than forty years. In that oblivion she travelled the world aboard various vessels and was kept in warehouses — all thanks to an unknown sender, who evidently deserves a thank-you. She was supposed to be delivered to Puzelsk, but the coffin, and she with it, was lost. And so she drifted around the world in hibernation until she woke in the year 2000. Astounded by the new technologies and the entertainment culture, Morselina became a hardened geek and otaku, thanks to the abundance of Torgorod. Her memory has never come back, but rumour has it that one day she will remember everything.

And now her purple copy shows up in Tubbyland. Unlike the original — lost and nostalgic — this version acts confidently and with purpose. She has settled in Torgorod, where she runs a shadow business selling anime figurines, breaking every conceivable rule. Does she still have the original’s memory? Is she connected to the Green Farost, or did she arise on her own? Or is this no glitch at all, but Morselina herself, dyed purple to throw the Tubbyland police off the scent?

Only one thing is clear so far: the Purple Morselina is one more problem on the body of Tubbyland, and her activity in Torgorod calls for close attention. Who knows what goods hide behind those anime figurines, and whether they are part of a larger plan to take over the city?